I have hit a good groove with life as a stay-at-home mom. As crazy and as strange as it might sound I think it took me two full years to get to the point where I can say I love staying at home all the time and I get to the end of my day with my brain mostly in tack and satisfied with how the day went. All along I have known that what I was doing was best and that it is a huge tremendous monstrous blessing that I even have the choice to stay at home currently because so many moms want to but have to work to make ends meet. But that did not take away from the fact that it was a hard adjustment going from working and living outside the home during the day to all of my waking hours being devoted to taking care of small humans.
I think having Jack has helped because now life is so much busier. Just trying to keep up and stay on top of feeding, clothing, bathing, and playing with not one but two children just adds so much to my day. Henry is older now and we can actually play together, talk, and interact. It is not nearly as lonely as those first years of me and baby Henry together all day. Sure it is crazy town over here lots of times but trying to survive the crazy keeps me energized, fulfilled, and entertained.
I am also finding so much more joy and fulfillment in what I am doing. The first several years I truly felt like I was missing out on other ministry opportunities due to being tied down to home. I felt out of the loop and somewhat secluded. But now, I have found a happy balance of using my home to minister to others as well as loving and ministering to Henry and Jack. My current mission field. My daily, day-in day-out mission field of seeking to raise boys that love the Lord and love others. It is a high calling and I am so thankful I have found peace and fulfillment in being faithful to love, serve, and care for my family.
I have found peace in being able to finally admit to myself that I think I have arrived at a good place on this stay-at-home mom journey. Obviously there are still hard days and I am not finished being stretched and pushed and constantly growing and changing. I never will master this whole 'mom' thing, but it sure is nice to feel more comfortable in what I have been called to do at this time in my life.